Currently in Love with You
by Dean's Little Secret
Summary: A druken Merlin and an amused Arthur stop to look at the stars. Warning: Slash


**Currently in Love with You**

Merlin's stumbling. Arthur buries his head in his hands and sighs wearily, one spill and his father had said he'd put Merlin in the stocks for a week. Since Merlin had made a fool of himself at the last feast, spilling wine onto to Lady Alice's dress. The prince from Halley laughed at Merlin's clumsiness; she was the only thing that saved him from a night in the stocks. But here he was all smiles and giddy and his eyes are as big as saucers, bright and dazed all at once. He balanced a plate uneasily in his hand, a drink in the other, the red liquid surely to spill at any moment.

Arthur wanted to run to Merlin, to sweep him away from this too crowded and noisy room. He wanted to drink as much wine as Merlin had, to just lose himself in the night, to stumble and fall and be able to laugh as he crashed to the ground. He wanted to forget who he was and why he could only ever watch Merlin from afar, with a beating heart and a joyous feeling of love. He had to smile as he watched Morgana hand Merlin her goblet, she laughed as he drank the sweet liquid and he wished he had the courage to walk away from his father and his legacy to find himself in Merlin's arms.

Morgana steadied the unstable Merlin and she whispered in his ear and Arthur was filled with burning rage. She could be whispering a thousand things, whispering the words Arthur so desperately wanted to say. She could kiss him in a back alley, or by the lake or under the oak tree that had been in the city for as long as Arthur could remember. She could sneak him into her chambers late at night and if caught she had no real duty to Camelot; she could choose Merlin over the kingdom. She could yell and scream and cry at the king to let her be with Merlin, she could come away the winner.

Arthur could never do such things. Even one kiss, quiet and unseen, could spell trouble for him. He could never share stolen kisses with his manservant, he could never take his hand into his own and he could never say how he felt. He could only watch as Merlin stumbled around, not too far away to the person sitting beside him but miles away to him. Too oblivious to the love flowing through the prince's blood, the love that burnt bright whenever Merlin was about.

Late at night, when everyone was lost in their dreams Arthur was awake in one, he'd be restless, tossing and turning, the only way to ease his mind was to think of Merlin. Adorable, clumsy Merlin. He always fell asleep with Merlin's bright smile pictured in his mind, holding a pillow that would never be enough but would have to do. He'd awake to Merlin bring him breakfast and drawing back the curtains to let the sun and reasons why he could never be with his servant in.

Arthur watched Merlin trip on the rug before righting himself and acting like nothing happened. Merlin fell over things so often that if he didn't trip over objects Arthur would be worried. But he also knew when Merlin was about to make a nuisance of himself. He was really unstable now and Arthur rushed to him before he could do something that would lead to him spending the week in the stocks.

"I think it's time you retire to chambers Merlin" Arthur said, placing a hand on his shoulder to keep him steady.

"But the party is just getting started" he announced like a child who was excitingly awaiting Christmas morning.

"Yes, but you're drunk."

"I am not" he tried to sound and look defiant but his face split into a grin.

"If you spill a single drop of liquid my father will have you in the stocks, do you really want that?" the prince could feel the eyes of others, one wrong word, one wrong move and someone he didn't want knowing his secret could find out, "and good servants are so hard to come by nowadays, so it would be very inconvenient for me if you ended up the stocks."

Merlin pursed his lips and furrowed his brow in thought and Arthur could see him weighing up his options. Party and have fun and possibly make a fool of himself or go back to his lonely chambers and sleep. Arthur only guessed that was what he was thinking but he was probably spot on. Merlin let out a tired sigh and his warm breath creased Arthur's skin and the smell of wine lingered.

"Ok, I will go" he suddenly had a strange look of sadness in his ocean blue eyes, the eyes Arthur lost himself in.

"I will walk you back, shall I" he felt the burn of his father's stare beat hot against his back; he could hear the unsaid words. _Why does the prince care so much for his manservant?_ If only Arthur had an answer to that question.

They made it to the courtyard before Merlin decided that sitting right here right now was a good idea. Arthur stared at the younger boy in awe; he sat cross legged in the center of the courtyard gazing up at the sky with a lazy grin. Arthur wanted to join him, to pull him to his feet and twirl him around and kiss him under the stars. But he stayed where he was, watching as Merlin stared up at the sky with an interest Arthur could not understand.

"It's late" Arthur called out to the amazed servant "get up and go back to your chambers." He never meant to sound mean; he never wanted to hide his love behind orders. He never meant to fall in love with him in the first place.

"You're so bossy" Merlin said in a child-like manner "why don't you just ever have fun, be true to yourself."

Arthur tensed "I do so have fun."

"Prove it" Merlin stared challenging at his future king and patted the ground beside him "come have fun."

"I don't see how sitting on the ground can be fun" he retorted, but he'd really love more than anything to say goodbye to rules and his rights and sit down beside Merlin and kiss him until the sun came up.

"Anything can be fun" he offered Arthur his famous grin, the one that made him love him so much more each time he saw it.

"Fine but if you tell anyone" he pointed an accusing finger at him as he closed the distance between them and sat down "I will kill you."

Merlin laughed "who'd clean your room?"

"My new servant" he replied, mirroring Merlin's cheeky grin "one that will never be late, one who won't fall over his own feet and who won't try to boil me alive" _one that wont steal my heart._ Where the unspoken words that were always on the tip of Arthur's tongue, trying to force their way out.

They fell into a comfortable silence, just gazing up at the sky that was so vast and wide. Arthur wished - as he gazed at Merlin rather than the sky - that Camelot would just vanish, fall to the ground in one big heap. He wished he could kiss Merlin and not have to worry about all the things that would happen if his father knew.

"Who do you think you'll marry?"

Arthur froze "I… uh… I don't know" was all he could manage because he wanted to say 'I will marry you' he wanted to scream at the top of his lungs 'I love you Merlin' and carve it into the old oak tree so everyone could know who his heart belonged to.

"I bet it's Gwen" Merlin mused.

"Who do you think you'll marry" Arthur asked because he could never, _ever_ say 'you fool, I will marry you' if only he could.

"I don't think I will get married."

"Why not?" Arthur asked, truly surprised.

"I'm not sure that…" he paused "the person I am in love with shares my feelings."

Arthur's heart drummed in his ears, was Merlin talking about him? He'd seen the undeniable affection in his eyes, seen how he went out of way to please Arthur, but he'd also seen him swoon over Morgana. Someone who had never yelled at him or called him an idiot or threw a bucket of water over him. "I am sure Lady Morgana returns your feelings."

"I wasn't talking about Lady Morgana" Merlin replied and he wasn't drunk but Arthur was sure he wasn't fully with it either.

"Then who are you in love with?"

Merlin grinned "well I'm currently in love with you, Arthur Pendragon."

In that moment Arthur felt the world stop, he felt his heart explode with joy only to ache a moment later. Why did he say currently? Would he not love Arthur forever like he would Merlin?

"So you won't love me tomorrow?" he hedged.

Merlin's grin faltered slightly "of course."

"What about the next day?"

"Yes."

"The day after that?"

"Forever" he whispered so low that Arthur barely heard it and was sure he heard wrong until he repeated himself, "Forever."

In the dark, in the shadows, miles away from here, that's where they could be together. Beneath the stars, surrounded in darkness, under a tree, hidden by leaves, over the hills and faraway, these were the places they could be together unseen. _Forever_


End file.
